How I Rate Movies

I rate on a five-heart system. It’s much like a five-star system, but with hearts. Because hearts show you how much I love the movie! Duh! My actual rating system is fairly complicated and still being worked out, but I hope to implement an admittedly partial (rather than supposedly impartial) rating system based on my own taste in movies and films (I will probably specify whether I believe something is a movie or film in its review).

It should be noted that I, like most reviewers (and people in general), have some biases. These biases will affect my reviews and ratings. First and foremost, I like bad movies. Or, rather, I like a lot of movies that people might think are “bad” just because they’re campy or belong in a certain genre (namely horror or action) or, sometimes, movies that just really aren’t any good. But it’s the bad that makes them good! That being said, I also like really good movies. Like, critically acclaimed, aesthetically pleasing, structurally sound films.

This complicates ratings, since a movie like The Expendables and American Beauty both warrant 4-5 hearts. These are both really awesome movies, but for totally different reasons. It’s impossible to compare them apples to apples. Therefore, I encourage my readers to read the “you may like this if…/you won’t like this if…” section of the review. It takes longer, but I try to make it as straightforward (and humourous) as possible and it’s really the only way you’ll be able to tell if you’d like the movie.