Movie Quests

You might be wondering why exactly I watch the movies I've reviewed. What brings me to these [crappy] movies over others?

Well a lot of that has to do with my filmic quests. I, much like an epic hero, am constantly questing to see movies that fulfill one (or more) of my three main goals.

What are these goals? It's actually quite simple.

1) Genre. I am guilty of falling into the traps of genre quests. I love a good horror or action movie. I also love a good children's movie, a good musical, or a good period drama. I occasionally go on binges (AKA quests) for movies in one specific genre. Sometimes you just need to watch a rom-com or gory slasher film, okay? (This is probably my least common quest).

2) Quality. I am constantly questing for movies and films that are of high quality (to me). That includes aesthetic qualities, such as crisp, clean cinematography and vivid colours (although black and white film can easily be more beautiful than colour), as well as low angles, and a well-used letterbox. There are tons of other qualities that go into making a film aesthetically pleasing, most of which you can probably recognize, even if you can't name them. These are all really important to me because I have a background in art history (i.e. looking at things that look good). This is more of a perpetual quest that goes hand-in-hand with my other quests.

3) Cast and/or Crew. While I would never say that every film ever by one actor/ actress/ writer/ director/ producer are teh awesome, I do go out of my way, like most Americans, to watch films and movies with people I recognize and like. That's what drives the film industry, people! I do love me some fresh faces/unknowns, but if it’s a choice between something I’ve never heard of and something I’ve never heard of with Brad Pitt in it, Brad Pitt is going to be a safe bet (unless it’s Thelma and Louise). Same thing with someone like Kevin Spacey, Helen Mirren, or Edward James Olmos. The same is true with anything written by Quentin Tarantino or Tina Fey, or directed by Robert Rodriguez I am more than likely going to at least appreciate if not thoroughly enjoy them. Therefore, when I'm flipping Netflix pages and searches, I'm more likely to gravitate toward these.

4) Bangable Babes. (This is more of a sub-genre of Quest #3). I have a tendency to (possibly obsessively) watch all the films starring x actress or actor if I am sexually attracted to her or him. Now generally, these people change fairly frequently (past winners of my favour include Hugh Jackman and his huge ackman, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Jake Gyllenhaal, and many others, whom I'll gladly list for you shamelessly if you ask and I can actually remember). So expect me to rage on in reviews about how attractive any given character/actor is. Also expect me to constantly be questing to watch all movies that contain my one consistent crush: Jeremy Irons. (I know I’m not the only 20-something-year-old woman with a giant crush on him, okay?!)

Following these varied quests have led me in many directions over the years. Some good, some bad. That one time I was obsessed with M. Night Shyamalan movies was a dark, dark time in my life indeed. But there have been quite a few gems and revelations to come out of these quests. You can't win 'em all, but you can try to win a few.