Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)

Since I've been busy trying to find a job, feeling down on myself, and binging on Jeremy Irons' performance in Brideshead Revisited and Patrick Stewart's in TNG, I haven't really had the time/concentration level to write the reviews promised in my last post. Therefore, I asked my friend Sam (a movie, comic, and pop-culture buff) to write a guest review of a film of his choosing. Fortunately for y'all, he decided to review one of the films that I would never in my life have watched due to my horrific (and utterly unwarranted) fear of dolls, marionettes, wax figures, and some statues. Enjoy, Renée               ...

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Posts to Come

Well, I'm officially done dying on finals, and while I still have quite a bit of non-schoolwork left to do, here are the reviews to expect from the coming weeks: Hook (1991) Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) Any of the three Guy Ritchie movies up on Netflix (Currently: Snatch [2000], Revolver [2005], and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels [1998]) And probably some Disney or other animation, since I'll be reunited with my VHS collection in two weeks' time....

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The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

***SPOILER FREE*** Cabin in the woods is a fantastic and insightful commentary on the horror genre as a whole. Full of quite a few good laughs, scares, and one love of my life (out of many): Fran Kranz (Topher of Dollhouse and so much more). Go see it now, before someone ruins it for you. I can say literally no more. Even though I really really want to. Rating:My first five heart movie and I can't even give you commentary. But it's absolutely worth every hea...

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Stay Alive (2006)

So I was sifting through Netflix's horror selection the other day and suddenly remembered a flash of a horror flick I'd seen in the 2000s with my biffle. All that happened was a flash of random details: roses, a road, a carriage, ...and a video game? After some quick googling I found a likely title, watched the trailer and was carried back into the past (the past, the past, the past). I can't recall exactly what drove me to it, but I definitely saw Stay Alive in theaters back in 2006. And let me just tell you, it's literally the least memorable movie I can actually remember having seen. If it weren't for that flash of memory, I would have gone...

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The Children of the Corn (1984)

Believe it or not, I hadn't seen The Children of the Corn until this week. Weird, right? I feel like it's just one of those movies where you sort of wind up watching it (or one of its numerous sequels) on SyFy (or SciFi more likely, since I feel like they played it more frequently before they changed the name in 2009) when nothing else is on. But somehow I missed that mind-vacuum in favour of sleep or homework or taped episodes of The X-Files. I decided to finally sit down and watch it at the urging of a friend, and I have to say, it's great. And by "great," I mean horrible. And by "horrible," I mean great. It's just one of those movies. While...

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The Phantom (1996)

I watched The Phantom becuase it’s on Netflix Instant and I had been searching for it for ages. I saw it when it came out on VHS in 1996 or ‘97 (I don’t remember when, but it was released in ‘96 and I’m assuming it was a quick-to-video kind of thing because it made exactly negative money). My only drive to watch this movie (I wouldn’t call it a “film”) was a strikingly traumatic childhood memory of a certain scene, which will be detailed below. I need to preface this review by saying that I really did search high and low for this film for several years due to the traumatic scene detailed below. I have watched the first half hour of every...

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