Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)

Since I've been busy trying to find a job, feeling down on myself, and binging on Jeremy Irons' performance in Brideshead Revisited and Patrick Stewart's in TNG, I haven't really had the time/concentration level to write the reviews promised in my last post. Therefore, I asked my friend Sam (a movie, comic, and pop-culture buff) to write a guest review of a film of his choosing. Fortunately for y'all, he decided to review one of the films that I would never in my life have watched due to my horrific (and utterly unwarranted) fear of dolls, marionettes, wax figures, and some statues.

Enjoy, Renée

               When Renée asked me to contribute to her blog, I immediately said yes.  I have done film reviews on my own blog and I've planned on reviewing many films but due to my own laziness they're haven't been as many as I'd like.  This was a good opportunity to write under someone else's direction and format.

               I chose Pinocchio's Revenge because I had a fun time watching it with some friends who all took the twist ending very seriously and tried to dissect the film.  I don't have a Netflix account but a friend has given me access to his account.  In an effort to embarrass him and mess up his Netflix suggestion generator, I've watched a large number of 80's sex comedies, low budget horror films, and gay themed cinema.

               I came across Pinocchio's Revenge having vague memories of the trailer and decided the premise of a killer puppet was worth watching.  Boy, was I right.

  Note: This film is on Netflix and uploaded onto Youtube

    Premise

               I think all films have some merit whether intentional or not.  For example, Norbit was nominated for an Oscar for make-up.   I have an affinity for horror films for a variety of reasons.  They often have a structure and as with comedies,  points of the film really need to be set up and timed properly.  Pinocchio’s Revenge is a film I’m quite fond of.   The acting, special effects, writing and overall direction are all terrible but that doesn’t stop the film from being absolutely enjoyable.

Note: it seems like the production made their own caution tape.

                Now the premise of the film revolves around Jennifer Garrick (played by Rosalind Allen), a tough as nails DA and single mother of a troubled child named Zoe.  Zoe’s going through rough time in her life, she’s a bit withdrawn, she gets picked on at school, she starts fights, and she won’t speak to her father.

 

                In the opening of the film we see Vincent Gotto being arrested for the murder of his son.  The police uncover his son buried with a Pinocchio puppet that Gotto made.  Jennifer is in charge of prosecuting Gotto and believes the murder of his son doesn’t match his previous murders.  She suspects he’s protecting an accomplice…

                Jennifer faces more bad luck: it’s her daughter’s birthday and the doll she ordered as a gift isn’t ready.  Being the sharp single mother that she is, she quickly improvises and gives Zoe the Pinocchio puppet.  Keep in mind that it’s not just crime scene evidence; it was buried with the corpse of a child.

              Since her birthday, Zoe’s been more and more attached to Pinocchio who begins to talk to her (the doll moves his mouth sometimes… sometimes it doesn’t).  Pinocchio appears to come to life to cause chaos, becoming more brazen with each act of violence.  Soon, Zoe’s bully gets tripped into a moving bus.  Later on, Jennifer’s boyfriend, David is pushed down the stairs, and Jennifer’s sexy Italian housekeeper gets attacked.  It appears that Pinocchio is attacking people who are getting in the way of Jennifer and Zoe.

             But the film has a twist: Zoe’s actually just incredibly disturbed and Pinocchio was never alive.

The film falls under the genre of “killer dolls,” popularized by 1988’s Child’s Play.  Originally in the first film, the killer would only be seen in POV and the audience wouldn’t know if the child or the doll killed people.  However, it was decided that audiences would be too uncomfortable with a child killer (because a serial killer transferring his soul into a doll was much more believable).  And actually the first kill in the movie is ambiguous.  So it’s my belief that Pinocchio’s Revenge was made from the abandoned Child’s Play scenario.  However, Pinocchio’s Revenge lacks the suspense, charm, and budget of Child’s Play.  Child’s Play had a healthy amount of gore and classic horror genre conceits, not to mention high caliber actors such as Chris Sarandon and Oscar nominee Brad Dourif.

The film fails to capture the real suspense and danger that the Child's Play series managed to produce.  The film had a very limited budget so it looked more like a Matlock rerun rather than an atmospheric horror film.  The film is inconsistent in tone, the events are played too seriously and it works too hard to mislead the audience with its twist ending (it tries to make you believe that the real killer is either Gotto's soul transferred into the doll or his son's soul).  A major reasons why the film fails is the voice of Pinocchio, which sounds like an elderly lady rather than a killer.  I felt like Pinocchio at any point was going to break out the peanut brittle and play Canasta.  You never felt like any of the characters were in danger.

Please note, the film's title.  Revenge is not a motive in this film.  Zoe just wanted her mother's attention.  And let's just say Pinocchio was alive.  He wouldn't terrorize Jennifer, since she tried to prolong Vincent Gotto's life.  But again, the plot doesn't make sense to begin with anyways.

Funny Notes

          The gore and violence of this film is very minimal but the film remains hilariously amusing, especially in a viewing party where everyone can trade shots at the film.
           

Pink shirt is not helping buddy

           Here, David (her landscaper boyfriend) sees that Jennifer is exhausted coming home from work and having to organize Zoe's birthday party.  David offers to help and intends to "cash in" in this "favor."  Because if you're dating a single mother who works a difficult job and has to get everything set for her daughter's birthday, you leverage sex with picking up a birthday cake because it's such a burden to you. 

           Now after the party, of course there is a graphic sex scene.  Actors, Rosalind Allen (Jennifer) and Todd Allen (David) were unsurprisingly married during the making of this film.  This is why the sex scene is long and borderline soft core.  You still don't buy why she's dating him but you're glad the film has earned it's R rating.

She just heard her sibling being made.

           Now, the film at this point delves into a real creepy area as we see that Zoe can hear them.  She stares blankly for a while and decides to take Pinocchio and sleep with the puppet in her bed.  Now, aside from the fact that the puppet was buried with a corpse two days ago, the bizarre sexual implications are unsettling.

Less of a "I'm going to use soap to clean myself" moment, and more of a "I'm gonna rub my body randomly" moment

           This is less of a criticism and more me offering helpful advice.  This is Sophia, Jennifer's attractive Italian housekeeper.  She has a long shower scene and it's pretty pointless.  Horror fans will love the healthy dose of nudity but this occurs right after the events of the sex scene.  My advice: space out the nudity.  It feels like the director decided to get his fill of nakedness all in one day.  Now, I know that when filming, scenes are not shot chronologically, but I feel like this was all done on one very lonely day.

           Also this is the character's largest chunk of screen time.  She serves no other purpose than telling the Italian version of the Pinocchio story, getting naked, and easily murdered.  

          The total body count of the film is 2 and they're pretty spectacular but you can see a very funny sequence where Zoe gets her bully hit by a school bus.

Pinocchio finds a rake and realizes that if you jam it into the spokes of this bully's bike, it'll send her into the path of a school bus.   Yes, for some reason, a girl on a bike was riding into the path of a school bus anyways.

Here is a screen cap of two school girls screaming at the accident.  It's funny because the girl on the right has her arms crossed.  Like she's upset but not enough to break her comfort.

Here is the aftermath.  The character is not dead.  She's just badly hurt.  But the posing is funny.  I'd say this was a dummy but I don't think the movie could afford one that was good.  While, I'm not a major advocate for children to be murdered in films (it worked for Jaws), it lessens the suspense and you never feel like Zoe is in danger.

It's like William Hurt and George Costanza had a baby.

                What better way to remind people it's 1996 then to have the sexually ambiguous child psychiatrist  wear the clothes that he does.  Does anyone wear sweater vests like these anymore?  He's also a terrible psychiatrist who isn't actively worried about Zoe's condition and fails at talking to her. Instead, he just video tapes her when he's out of the room.  While he is right that Zoe is crazy, his proof was that she was talking to Pinocchio like he's real.  Also, he seems to be under the belief that she's incurable and says so to her face.

I'm not expert on psychiatric cells, but I'm dead sure that they have to have windows and other amenities.

Lastly, the most famous cast member in the film is Verne Troyer (aka Mini-Me).  He appears in two wide shots as Pinocchio comes to life.  Enjoy that small piece of trivia.